Summer Camp

It’s that time of year again folks! Time to start figuring out where you’re going to flush your money down the toilet to keep your kids busy and your mind from exploding this summer. But, seriously, it’s a happy toilet … that flushes to the relaxed … happy … sewer of happiness??? Ok, that was a serious stretch. But it’s that or the insane asylum. And, personally, I’d rather be broke.

Every spring, when I go through the debate of camps and money, my cousin reminds me of “the-summer-that-shall-not-be-named” when I decided no camps were needed and money would be saved!!!

I have few recollections of that summer (vague images of our bathroom from odd angles, the cold floor tile against my cheek, along with loud banging and screaming – still not sure if it was me or the kids), but my cousin says she still has PTSD from my emails, phone calls and texts. The Hubby doesn’t mention it at all … I used to just call him and lay the phone on the table so he could hear the insanity – crying, screaming, and wailing sobs coming from all 4 of us. And he’s so damn polite, he wouldn’t even hang up … poor guy. He’d find me in fetal position in the corner of our house somewhere when he arrived home from work.

Back to (now) mandatory summer camp …

The 12 year old would like to sleep this summer away. And while I’d like to do the same, that’s not gonna happen for either one of us.

The 10 year old would like to play video games all summer. And while I’m inclined to let him do just that, I’d rather not have Social Services knocking on my door … cause, god knows, that’s the attitude you get anymore when you let your kids spend 5 minutes on the Wii.

The 7 year old would like me to fill every waking minute with a play date. And while most of his friends are adorable and well behaved, I can’t have that many boys over to my house all summer … we’re already bordering on a frat house over here as it is.

Researching these camps is a nightmare, though. There are so many options! And ridiculous price tags to go with them. I will say, they look like a lot of fun. Munch is going to do a camp on how to make pastries. I wanna do that!! (whiny voice) The boys will be in the woods looking at frogs and insects and other creepy things. I should be doing that!! (guilt ridden voice)

It continues to amaze me how much things have changed. When I was a kid (with those 5 words I am officially old), my mom threw us outside and said see ya at dinner! I can’t remember attending ANY camps? Oh, we went to the pool a lot. But my mom sat with a book or with her friends and swatted us away if we needed or wanted anything from her. Did they have any of the guilt we have? Cause I don’t know about you, but when I swat my kids away, I spend hours later analyzing if it was ok, will they be ok, will they bring this up repeatedly in therapy, and then find myself “making up for it” by doing something ridiculously extravagant. Like reading them a bedtime story.

But seriously, there should be a Mommy Camp during the summer. We get to go learn about how not to guilt trip ourselves, how to shut our brains up, and how to accept who we are. (I know, I laughed at that last one too) Sprinkled in there would be massages, wine tasting, and laying around in yoga pants eating chocolate with no calories.

Who’s in?


3 responses »

  1. Theresa Speacht

    Sign me up!!

  2. I’m right there with you on the Mommy Camp.

  3. I want to go to mommy camp (whiny voice)!


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