I am Titanium

Sometimes I forget how music can heal my soul. Ok, maybe that was a little dramatic. More like, cure all the world’s problems? Um … just prevent me from staying the whole day in bed? Yeah, that’s more accurate. And sometimes to get through these crazy mom days, I need Super Woman inspiration.

So, lately, in the mornings, I’ve been putting on the song “Titanium”.

Even when I feel like total crap, this song can get me up and moving. I find myself doing the Tom Cruise slide in Risky Business (with my mom uniform on – the standard dish cloth over the left shoulder) screaming, “I am Titaaaaaaaaaaniuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!!” Like “this stay at home mom can rule the world!!!” … until, of course I hit a well placed toy car and fall on my ass. And then it turns into a little whimper from the ground, “I am titanium?”

Throw me a kid with diarrhea, I got it!! You need to bring juice in for 23 kids today, no problem!! You just spilled syrup all over your shirt, I’m on it!! You need your report card signed, PLEASE – I will sign that bitch like nobody’s business!!

“Shoot me down, but I won’t fall!”

Then there is the song that makes me feel like my family is the epitome of coolness and “having it together”ness – an illusion I must live with in order to keep this cool mom charade thing going. It’s mildly embarrassing.  But seriously, when has that ever stopped me?  It’s the theme song to the show The Incredible Crew.

(awkward pause)

Yeah, you read that right! Don’t judge. If you haven’t seen the show yet, then you must – and you clearly can’t judge … yet. Even if you just youtube “Running Errands with My Mom” or “Science Fair” … but then again, I have a 13 year old boy’s sense of humor (and the zits to prove it).  I make no promises.

Anyway, the intro song is 21 seconds of PERFECTION. The beginning of the show introduces you to each cast member, one at a time, with some kind of batman explosion-like symbol behind them. I picture my family like that in the morning. Pow! … me with a mug of coffee and a “don’t mess with this bitch” look! … Pow! … the hubby riding his bike in the living room (that’s a post for another day)! … Pow! Munch with her book bag on, giving us the thumbs us (no tween sulkiness in sight)! … Pow! AD giving only a cursory glance at the screen as he is wildly focused on his iPod! … Pow! Guy (last but not least) jumping into a ninja like position with a growl on his face.

My crew, my crew, my crew, my crew, my crew, my crew, my crew is incredible!!

That’s us!! BAM! Suck it world! We ROCK!!

(pause) (shifty eyes)

Soooooooooooo …

… onto scrubbing toilets.

Theme song: “Toxic”



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