The Weather Man (A Cautionary Tale)

I wrote this awhile back – when we were hoping there was at least ONE colossal snowstorm this season. I’m currently editing this in a tank top in the blazing heat. But whatever … the message still applies …

I’ve decided to stop beating up the weather people. I KNOW! Completely crazy random. Don’t worry, we’ll get there … maybe.

I mean, it’s absolutely INSANE how much stuff they get wrong. Unfortunately, though, I had a scary revelation the other day while texting with my bestie. Here’s the abbreviated version:

Me: the weather sucks. If it doesn’t start to get nice soon, I’m going to have to remove all sharp objects from the house.

Her: I know. Today has been absolute shit. I wish it would have at least snowed like they claimed it would.

Me: I know. I hate weather forecasters. They are serious assholes.

(No offense to weather forecasters. Especially YOU, Cecily Tynan!)

Her: How can you possibly get it wrong the NIGHT before??

Me: Agreed. I want their job. I can’t imagine perpetually screwing up and never losing my job.




(Now here comes the “Dawning” or “Awakening” … or in my case, “Existential Crisis”)

Me: Although I guess that’s what I do here :/

Yeah. It kind of got ugly from there.

But really. Everyone knows you’re not supposed to yell at your kids. But sometimes you do. And everyone knows that you shouldn’t spoil your kids, but you do that too sometimes. And while I’m having a hard time relating this to the weather man like I was originally planning (future novelist in the making here!), I think this is an important point. We are not perfect. Period. Amen.

I used to respond to that with – “but shouldn’t I always STRIVE to be perfect?” But striving for something that’s unattainable is a course in frustration. And everyday, essentially being told that you didn’t “make the cut” – well, that only makes you a defeated parent with low self esteem – which, let’s face it, we all are anyway.

Look, I don’t beat my kids. I don’t starve them. I don’t do any of those horrific things you see in the news. And I’m guessing you don’t either. Not that this should be the bar that we hold ourselves to, but let’s be realistic … we are not monsters.

Anyway, there are a hundred and fifty books written on this topic and I don’t have anything new to say. Just reminding you to be kind to yourself. Cut yourself a break. If you’re anything like me, you need to be reminded of that.

After a deep, meaningful, and exhaustive introspection – that lasted about 15 seconds – (and a desperate attempt to weave the weather man story into my convoluted way of telling you to accept yourself), I’ve concluded that weather forecasters and moms should unite! Yes, we get it wrong sometimes!! But when we get it right, you are SOOO grateful we did!! Cause … you’re really prepared for that … storm … and … my son’s not … smearing boogies on your carpet??? I don’t know. That’s all I got.



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