Lost and (not usually) Found

Every once in awhile the Hubby gets a wild hair up his ass. I’m usually the one with the hair up my ass, so these random days always throw me for a loop. I end up playing the role of the rational parent for the day and it really doesn’t suit me well.

Yesterday morning he decided that, after months of missing a small laptop that was given to our son, it was AD’s job to find it … immediately. I’m not sure what prompted the militaristic demands coming out of the Hubster’s mouth, but I just go with it … until he gets crazy. And then we all go tell him to go for a bike ride.


According to AD, he looked high and low. So basically he walked past his room. Sometimes I feel like an idiot because I can revert back into my toddler mom role. I end up saying things like “let me help you” or “I’ll find it” or “will somebody PLEASE actually take a nap today for the love of GOD!!”, but I’ve been getting the stink eye from the Hubs lately – and for good reason. AD is 10 years old. He is perfectly capable of finding this thing all by himself.

But it’s torture. Like “water-boarding, ripping fingernails out one by one, blazingly loud Miley Cyrus songs, watching Caillou over and over and over” torture.

He wanders around the house whining. He can’t find it. He’s looked everywhere. No one cares. No one will help him. He’d rather die than keep looking. And this all happens in the first 5 minutes.

I find myself trying to disappear, but, out of any of them, that kid can sniff me out quicker than you can say “Lindsey Lohan’s in rehab again”

I have to keep resisting going to look for it. STAY. STRONG. (my frequently ineffective mantra) Honestly, the only reason I want to find it is to get everybody to shut the hell up. But I’m supposed to be raising an independent kid, a problem solver, a contributer to society … blah, blah, blah. Doesn’t anyone care about my sanity????

So the Hubs goes to pick up our daughter from a sleepover and he must mention to her the current drama going on at our house. She proceeds to snicker and look out the window.

Hubs: Do you know something, Munch?

Munch: Maybe

Hubs: Care to share?

Munch: Well, remember when the boys stole my favorite movie, Pitch Perfect? I decided to get them back.

Hubs: You know where the laptop is?

Munch (grinning from ear to ear): Yep.

AD couldn’t decide if he hated his sister or loved her at the moment she got home and showed us where it was (in the piano bench, by the way). I will say this much, I hugged her like she’d just saved a dying whale.

Which she had.



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