My 5 Mothers … Jessica

jess

Jess is the newest member of my motherhood clan and so she’s kind of like this amazing unexpected gift that arrived on my doorstep.  A couple years ago she moved into our neighborhood and we started to connect a little by working out together.  Plus her husband and my husband started connecting as well – doing races together and such … so we started to hang out more and more.

I was a nervous wreck around her in the beginning because she was so ridiculously nice and calm that I figured she thought I was some kind of raging lunatic … gabbing away about my life, telling her things she probably didn’t want to know, asking her questions she probably didn’t want to answer and bursting into tears randomly during some of our runs.  I pictured myself the clutzy, neurotic over-sharer and her the serene fairy from the Lord of the Rings …

fairy queen

Yeah – her.  Minus the weird ears.

And then I REALLY got to know her and I liked her even more.  Turns out she’s not the Fairy Queen.  Turns out, we are both total stress cases!! And, while we both need to relax (actually we could both stand to be put in a coma every once in awhile – a mental health toxic cleanse, if you will), there’s nothing more comforting than knowing you are not the only one thinking all these crazy thoughts and having all these insane worries.  Somehow saying them out loud to each other, though, and laughing about them, makes them a little bit easier to bear.

One day she came over to my house to talk.  She said she needed to vent about something that was upsetting her and she felt like I would be able to help her.  Me??  Really?  And I began to see more and more how much she respected and liked me.  That it wasn’t just this one sided friendship where I adored her and she tolerated me – not that she ever acted that way, I just have issues (I know).  She does that, by the way … makes you feel special and liked.

She is way, way too hard on herself – like the rest of us.  She focuses on her “flaws” – which are too ridiculous to even address.  But all I really see is her strength and her beauty.  She has struggled with some things like we all have, but like when we run together, she pushes through all that crap and she gets it done.  Without whining like a baby (I’m guessing you can figure out who does the whining during our workouts).

She is a nurse, as well, and so you can imagine her compassion and diligence.  But she is more than that.  She has always been a source of encouragement for me and has always made me feel smart and funny.  And, surprisingly, she actually wants to hang out with me – even though I send her random, bizarre texts and tell her way too many details about my life.  I think she may actually like me as much as I like her 🙂

While I tend to be more negative and bitchy, she always finds a way to turn someone’s actions or behaviors around to make me realize that, just maybe, not all people are idiots or irresponsible or annoying as all hell.  Maybe they are just having a bad day.

I know a lot of people have been friends with her longer and probably know her better, but she is my unexpected gift and I’m gonna hold onto her and pretend we’ve known each other forever.  Because, honestly, that’s how she makes me feel.

Love you, Jess.  Happy Mother’s Day!

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