Why I Need To Get A Job

Look.  I promise I’m gonna let this go.  PROM. ISE.  But, honestly, she just makes it so damn easy.  And like I said before … kindred … spirits.  *sigh*  Will we ever meet Brooke?  I don’t think my life will be complete until we do.  BUCKET LIST!!

Here are some tweets of “fearless revelations and soulful reflections” from the lovely Brooke Burke … she just GETS IT.

tweet 1

I love that she calls us Tweeties.  It just makes me feel all 12 years old and everything.  God, I love her.

tweet 2

You go girl!!  You are so empowering!  I’m gonna workout now too!  Even though I don’t have a nanny, cook, maid, or driver … hell!, I don’t even have a washer and dryer that work on a consistent basis or a kid that sleeps through the night.  I KNOW!  Can you believe I do all that shit myself!?  But seriously, though, you are AMAZING and those extra “o’s” prove it!

tweet 3

L … O … L, Brooke!  Come on!  We all know you have that tail waxed!!

tweet 4

OMG, BROOKE!  Someone hacked into your account!!  And I would NEVER in a million years think you DIET!!  Dieting is for losers and idiots and people who use the word “tweeties”.  When will people LEARN??

tweet 6

Nighty, night, Brooky!!  Love you 🙂  Sleep demons angels take me AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

tweet 7

Oh, you’re Irish?  I didn’t realize.  Um, what’s with the “first hit” … are you having some chemical issues?  And a car shelter?  Is that where used cars go to be euthanized?  I’m confused.

tweet 8

Brooke!  Are you texting and driving?!  I DO THE SAME THING!!!  You are truly an inspiration.  But seriously, I’m worried about your “one hit” from your previous tweet.  Are you ok???

tweet 9

I made one!!!  Can I tell you?  Pleeeeeeeeeeease!!!  It’s to mee …. aww, MAN.  Fine.  I’ll keep it a secret.  I love wishes.  And rainbows and unicorns.  And you, Brooke, mostly just you. (too creepy?)

tweet 10

WTF – don’t people know you’re more important than stupid Barack Obama!  And, Christ!, you need that passport for your vacation to Bora Bora – don’t people know this!!!  Traffic can be so disrespectful and ignorant!

tweet 11

Ohhhhh what a RIDE it must have been 😉 … I hope he at least wore a condom!

tweet 12

Growing up IS hard!  But, Brooke, you’re 41 years old.  It’s probably time.  OR NOT!!! 🙂  You do whatever the fuck you want, bitch sweetie!!!

tweet 13

Jeez, THREE!!  I know it takes me all night to get through a Curious George picture book.  You must be EXHAUSTED.  Wait!  Was it the one where Spider Man figures out how to climb up a building??? That one was gripping (get it!!!)!  I could barely contain my tears.  I mean, when he finally figured it out … ya know, the sticky fingers and everything … serious drama.  You are SUCH a good mom!!!!

tweet 14

Brooke, have I said you’re a true inspiration?  Well, I’m saying it again.  And you were so smart to use those “2’s” to save time from typing “to”.  I learn something new from you everyday.  And the school, office AND the bank.  WTF?!  Do people think you’re a machine???  You deserve a spa day!  After your 3 hour hair appointment.  No one,  NO. ONE., deserves it more!


Ok, I’m done.  Maybe.


2 responses »

  1. She’s savvy…she’s soulful…she’s a modern mom…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: