Some people give their time, some people give their money, but very, very few people do both. Ok, that’s completely untrue, but celebrities are the epitome of selflessness … am I right? They are always making up their own charities, feeding skinny kids in Africa, and trying to create peace and shit. And then there are those that just go way above and beyond. True American heroes, if you will.
Like Brooke Burke, for example. 🙂 She is truly an angel sent from heaven. It was brought to my attention by Kate of loveandknuckles that Brooke saves cats. She SAVES. CATS.
I think there’s a cat somewhere in between her legs … can you see it?
Anyhoo …. could there be a more worthy cause? I mean, I know I think about cats and their welfare on a daily basis … and by ‘daily’ I mean ‘never’ … and it’s so important, ya know? But I never actually DO anything about it. I’m really embarrassed to admit that here, I mean, it’s kind of like admitting that you’re a white supremacist or a Nazi or something, but I know you guys understand. Hell, I can barely take care of my kids, how can you expect me to care about cats?? But after a long and thoughtful deliberation (around 2 minutes) I decided I needed to become a better person. The kids are raising themselves, so I decided to try something else.
In the spirit of Brooke … and god knows I try to live up to her
questionable morality everyday … I’m gonna start doing stuff for cats.
I decided to start with my bestie … she just got 2 dogs and her cat has been SERIOUSLY neglected (this is wildly untrue, but it’s the only cat I know … desperate times call for desperate measures). So here are some shots of me making a difference in this cat’s world, … I think her name is Esmerelda or Seraphina or Budapest or something … oh wait! It’s Lily. That’s right.
Here she is … little Josephina. Poor thing.
Now, I thought it was important to start with basic needs – like reading. I mean, how the fuck is she supposed to learn about
how to kill her new housemates dogs if she can’t read!?
Here’s little Macarena reading!! I started with the letter Y – ya know, for yarn … or Yentyl – whichever she leans towards. (Ignore the wad of cat hair on my boob – I was attempting to “get into character” for her)
After reading, I thought maybe I should work with her on the “potty”. I mean, if you’re gonna save a cat, you damn well better teach it how to piss in a box. For god’s sake, the poor thing had been holding it in until now.
She kept turning her head away (modesty?) but I forced her to watch (wow, that sounded really creepy) … how else is she gonna learn???
And then I showed her how proud her owner would be when her piss congealed into a sandy, gelatinous mass!!
Lastly, I really wanted her to have fun! I came up with a really cool game for her and I’m pretty sure it made her day! It’s called “the cat’s outta the bag” and she screamed and clawed in delight!!
My work was done! Man that was exhausting!! I don’t know how Brooke does it! And with the 10 kids she’s “raising” at home … I’m wiped out just thinking about it.
P.S. No animals were harmed in the making of this post … only my shirt, which is currently covered in a layer of white silky cat hair that will never come off. In fact, Lily (or Salvadora or whatever her name is) was rewarded handsomely. After telling me to ‘fuck off’, she promptly took her prize and pissed in the dog bed. God I love her.