Embracing Your Curves: A Public Service Announcement From Camila Alves McConaughey

camila-alves-600x450

This is Camila Alves McConaughey.

She’s married to this guy (in case you live under a rock)

matthew-mcconaughey-is-extremely-thin-5-pics_1

Not to be confused with this Camilla …

camilla

Who’s married to this dufus …

charles

(I know, I always get them mixed up too)

But (as usual) I digress …

I honestly love nothing more than when celebrities try to have experimental flings with us lowly commoners in an attempt to sell handbags.

Camila (the Brazilian hottie) wants to let us know that she is embracing her curves after 3 kids.

Mmmm hm!!

It’s beyond shocking … so much so that I had to swallow 12 bitter pills to deal with the pure ridiculousness of this article thought of the horrendous prejudice poor Camila must deal with on a daily basis.

I am taken aback by her stoic bravery to the point that I vomited a little in my mouth upon reading this article.  I mean, to be photographed like this ???  (and, yes, the top photo IS the one accompanying the article where she espouses her unconditional love for her newly begotten look … brave, I tell you, BRAVE!)  She is the epitome of true feminism in this country.  She needs a statue made in her honor (right next to Brooke Burke’s) that states “This is what a real woman looks like!” … and she needs it STAT!

So anyhoo, not to be outdone by this skinny bitch …

… in honor of Camila’s newfound honesty and je ne sais quoi (and to make you REALLY uncomfortable), I thought I’d let you know what embracing your curves after 3 kids REALLY looks like.  And, kiddos, it ain’t Camila Parker Bowles McConaughey pretty!  I’m embracing the shit out of it because … because … because …

Um, yeah, I got nothing.  But I AM DOING THIS THING!

This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy …

(In all seriousness, Brittany Gibbons is my hero)

I completed a triathlon this past weekend and this is the best shot these men out to destroy all womenkind’s self esteem fabulous photographers could get of me this random lady.  What dears.

crazy lady

*I gave her a muffin top to hide her identity*

From what I could gather, this lady is 39 years old and has 3 adorable kids (ha! yeah – we all think that, lady).  She has a blog or something or other … blah, blah, blah … I tuned her out after she told me she had 3 kids (what kind of idiot?!), but I thought it was important to keep sharing pictures of “curves” like Camila’s.  If we don’t start accepting women like Camila as attractive, what’s gonna happen to the rest of us for Christ’s sake?!  Will no one love us??  And, more importantly, how will any of us have a chance with Matthew McConaughey?!  Oh wait, he’s married … and we all know Hollywood marriages last forever.  Shit.

Anyway …

STOP THE HATE … LOVE CAMILA AND HER CURVES!!  Jeez …

Disclaimer: I am sure Camila Duchess of Cornwall McConaughey is a super nice lady and I’m sorry I referred to her as a bitch … maybe.

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6 responses »

  1. Don’t let this blogger fool you she rocked her Tri this weekend beautiful curves and all!

    Reply
  2. You go Carrie! I’m so proud of you for that tri! I can’t even imagine!!

    Reply
  3. You crack me up Carrie, to be honest, your humor and honesty is what makes you beautiful…bravo in attempting and finishing the Tri…..and you just made my day today.

    Reply

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