Snow Days … the Vacation You Didn’t Ask For

Yes, we are on day 2 of a random “vacation” due to snow.  This is easily the worst kind of vacation ever invented.  We cannot leave the house.  (although, trust me, I’ve thought about it … even when it was a practical white out and the roads were closed … desperate times …)

I would like to say that I sat down and attempted some “schooling” with the kids like my friend Hyphenista, but, alas, I was too busy with my face smashed against my window begging and pleading for someone to help me … clinging for dear life as the zombies kids closed in on me.

I love these guys, but if there’s not an electronic device in sight, they lose all ability to function as independent human beings.  Or rational, for that matter.

The youngest couldn’t quite get that he couldn’t have a play date.

Me: The roads are horrible.  No one can drive their kid here, nor am I willing to go out in this … no matter how much you are crushing my soul irritating me by whining for 2 hours straight.

Him: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

Me: What are you not understanding?!  It CAN’T be DONE!

Him: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

Me: Do you SEE the snow falling?!  DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?!  DANGER!!!!!

Him: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

Me: (hides under the couch cushions)

I caught the middle one reading a book.  You know how that goes.  You are sneaking by their room and you catch the glimpse but (DAMNIT!) they saw you!

Him: MOOOOOOOM!!!

Crap.

Him: I’m bored!!!

Me: You were just reading!  Which is so awesome and I’m so proud of you!!!

(god forbid I damage anyone’s self esteem :-/)

Him: Reading sucks!

Great.  Raising future presidents over here.

Oldest – who is now a teen and has somehow become aware of social normalcy and appropriate behavior (thank god for their father), complains to me that she’s been “lazy all day”

(and the problem is?)

Me: So?  It’s a snow day.  Relax.  Have fun.

Her: But I haven’t DONE anything.

Me: Ok.  What do you want me to say?  Do 20 jumping jacks!  Shovel the mountains of snow outside!  Read a book!!  Do a puzzle!!! Play a board game with your brothers!!!  Put your clothes away!  Clean your room!  Do a craft!  Play with the dog!!!

Her: (eye roll) No.

Seriously?

And I don’t know about your guys, but mine have to be within 2 feet of me at all times.  We are literally bumping into each other constantly – starting out the day with “excuse me, honey”, “pardon me, sweetie”, and ending the day with “are you FREAKING kidding me?!  Why are you up my butt???”

When is some brilliant mother going to come up with the “Mom Bubble” … personal space capsules that allow you to not be touched for hours on end … and I’d pay the extra 50 bucks for the noise canceling headphones as well.

I think that’s the one thing I’m really pissed that no one told me about before having kids.  There will be NO personal space.  And when you do set boundaries and say, “PEOPLE!  PLEASE!!!!!  I NEED MY SPACE!!”, you will (within seconds) feel insanely guilty and pull them all in for a bear hug, in which they will cling for hours and you are back to square one.

Gotta go … it’s bear hug time.

personal space suit

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4 responses »

  1. You should have called me…I would have carried my kid over on my back for a playdate!

    Reply
  2. You have so perfectly captured my life.

    Reply
    • Will spring ever get here??? Between all this snow and now the time change this weekend, I’m starting to get seriously frightened that my life will never get back to “normal” … although, maybe that’s a good thing?

      Reply

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