How I Learned That Sobbing On The Bed Is Perfectly Acceptable

I was cleaning out my kids’ rooms the other day (it’s amazing what depths you’ll go to when the kids have only had school for 15 minutes during the entire month of January … and cleaning is pretty much the depths of hell for me … that and being forced to watch Bob Costas with an eye infection) and I ran across one of the great literary classics of our time.  I couldn’t believe I had forgotten about it!  When the kids were little, I would read it to them night after night, doing all the voices theatrically (and frantically), in the hopes of scaring the shit out of them getting the deep, important message of the story across to them.  Their small little impressionable now freshly scarred brains on high alert … wondering what all the desperation in Mommy’s voice was about.  (spoiler alert: nothing I have ever done when it comes to parenting has ever worked – I hope you’re not reading this for advice – my posts are always usually cautionary tales … or should the ‘usually’ be crossed out?)

Yes, you figured it out!!!  I knew I liked you for a reason 😉

The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Pressure!!!!!

bb too much pressure

If you haven’t read this genius, why are you still here?? You should be at the bookstore buying it.  And reading it to your kids – despite my spoiler alert.  (I don’t know, maybe your kids are smarter than mine?  Or more than likely, you’re a better parent.  But I digress …)

My favorite part of the whole book, all 32 pages of it, is when, after running around like a crazed lunatic all day (check!), Mama goes to start the car (check!) and it won’t start (check!).  She proceeds to … wait for it … run to her bedroom and sob uncontrollably on the bed while Papa and the cubs stare at her in horror (check! check!).

Fucking genius.

After reading this book the first time, I immediately put Stan and Jan Berenstain as number 2 on my list of all time favorite people.  Number one, of course, being the guy who owns and operates our liquor store.  Well, he’s tied with the Dalai Lama.  And Oprah.

I love that, with all these sacchariny, soapy kids books out there, they went for it.  I think it was crazy brave of those Bear people!  I know I have (sadly) found hours of comfort reading this book alone, huddled in the closet … no, no, of course I’m not still doing the voices … ok, maybe just Papa Bear’s.

I was hoping I could tell you that this book was published in 1962 or something, a groundbreaking whatever whatever, but alas, it was 1992.  And I know for damn sure moms were crying on the bed WELL before 1992.  Oh well, I still appreciate it.

I don’t know about you, but with all these snow days piling up and just a little too much “bonding with the kids”, I’ve been looking more like this bear …

angry mama

It’s time I get back to sobbing on the bed.  Because what happens after … Papa Bear and the kids all rally around Mama and make things easier for her … will most DEFINITELY happen here at my house.

NEVER.

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