The Evolution of Summer

Day 1:

We will make lots of lists!  Lists of books we want to read!  Lists of chores to do!  Lists of activities we CAN’T WAIT to do!  Lists of healthy snacks and foods we will eat all summer long!

I will choose a book to read to all the kids at night … we will laugh out loud at the funny parts, cry at the sad parts, and have deeply intellectual discussions about the plot line!

They will do some sort of math worksheet every day.  Happily!

We will make a schedule of how our days will go!  Something like this … please note the adorable font:

(I have no idea where this came from)

We will make a Pinterest-worthy chore chart that will be equal parts charming and user friendly.  There WILL BE puffy paint and glitter.

We will go to the pool that we paid a king’s ransom to belong to EVERY DAY!  We will be happy about it and we will not complain about suntan lotion application (including me)!

We will discuss which day of the week we will go to the library … because, YES!, we will go to the library once a week!

We will be excited and happy and looking forward to the BEST SUMMER yet!!

 

Day 16:

We are still mildly enthused about the summer, but it’s not going quite as planned.  Chore chart worked for awhile, but now we can’t remember if the check marks are from today or yesterday and certain people, i.e. children, are lying about whether or not they’ve completed tasks.  Everyone has mastered their innocent face.  Including me, for when the Hubs gets home.

We’ve gone to Dairy Queen and Rita’s six times.

We’re following a schedule, but it doesn’t quite look like what we laid out.  Electronics seems to be creeping in outside of their scheduled time allotment.

I have read the novel we picked out 7 times, but everyone hates it.  Including me.  Most of our discussions revolve around how stupid the book is.

We’ve been to the pool 3 times and the library once.

Upside?  I’m sleeping til 10am everyday.  I have no idea what the kids are doing from when they wake up until I wake up.

 

Day 42:

The inmates are running the asylum.

The chore chart was burned in the backyard weeks ago in a sort of Lord of the Flies type ritual.  The daily schedule has been vetoed after “someone” started printing it out in “crazy killer” font.

We hate summer and find it excruciatingly boring.

The house is a tangled mess of blankets, Fruit Loops, and dirty socks.  The TV is on at all times except when the Hubs comes home … when there is some kind of silent agreement between the 4 of us that he is NOT TO KNOW what happens during the days … I might as well yell, “PLACES EVERYONE!” when he pulls into the driveway.

The people at DQ start hurriedly making our order when they see us pull into the parking lot.

I don’t get out of bed until noon.

Electronics are played round the clock and I convince myself, as a form of mother-guilt self preservation, that there are incredible, believable, HEALTHY benefits to the kids playing them ALL THE TIME.

We’ve hit the pool a few more times, but everyone bitches about suntan lotion and there not being enough snacks and there not being enough to do and it’s too hot and their friends aren’t there.  Actually, that might just be me.

The kids have a healthy glow, but I have 3rd degree burns from forgetting to apply suntan lotion to myself.

We’ve abandoned our novel mostly because I now go to bed at 6pm with a bottle of wine.

Not one math worksheet has been done yet.

 

Day 60:

Two weeks til school starts!!  Backpacks have been filled with school supplies purchased weeks ago.  They are propped up by the front door.  Every time I see them I get giddy.

The kids have informed us at least 100 times that this was the most boring summer ever and they hate the pool.

We owe the library $76.25 for the books we checked out at the beginning of the summer.

The kids now have third degree burns from lack of suntan lotion application.

The Hubs calls twice a day to “check in” … really he’s making sure the kids are still alive and I haven’t pulled a Thelma and Louise with my best friend.

No one, including me, remembers what 1 + 3 equals.

HAPPY SUMMER EVERYONE!!! MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR!

No, but seriously … good luck.

 

 

Camp Throwback: Sometimes It IS Fun To Be A Grown-Up

Last weekend I went camping with a bunch of strangers.  Odd, I know.  Even odder for me, the girl who likes the safety of her family, her house, her dog, and her seemingly unlimited supply of Diet Coke and Breaking Bad episodes (I know, I KNOW it’s going to end … *sobs into pillow*).  But wtf … I’m turning 40 in a few weeks and I’ve weirdly turned braver and more daring.  I’m definitely caring less and less about superficial things.  “I yam who I am” and all that.

When my high school friend, Amy, who I haven’t seen in easily 17 years, messaged me about Brittany Gibbons’ revolutionary (to me, anyway) new vacation experience … the adult summer camp lovingly called CAMP THROWBACK … where you get to be a kid again all while being legally able to drink alcohol … I was intrigued.  But, shit!, it was the weekend of my 15th wedding anniversary!  Is it ok to blow off your husband for 3 days to go hang out with strangers (plus a kick ass high school friend)?

Turns out it is!!!  I’ve talked about the Hubs before here, so you all know how annoyingly and yet adorably perfect he is.  And this was no exception.

“Go!  Have fun!!” he smiled.

With a beautiful anniversary card tucked secretly away in my bag, he sent me on my way.

I’m going to leave out the part where I tell you how horrendous my seasonal allergies were and that I had the most horrific sinus infection of my ENTIRE LIFE because that’s only gonna make you feel bad for me and you’ll miss the point.  But next year?  Yeah – preventative medication will be my best friend.

Somehow Amy and I hit the cabin mates jackpot, because we (in my humble opinion) got THE. BEST. Cabin mates.  Theresa and V, Deborah, Mary and Gina, Retta and Emily … all with their own stories … all amazing people.  And fun.  SO. DAMN. FUN.

Amy and I did our best to participate in everything while squeezing in gossipy catch up sessions that involved a ridiculous amount of, “WHAT?!”s and “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!”s and “I know exactly what you mean”s … the latter being why we jumped back on the proverbial bike after not having seen each other in forever.

When we dressed up for our Friday night 90’s party – me attempting to channel my inner Claire Danes (unsuccessfully, I might add), Amy spent a good hour doing her hair like “the old days”  Holy. SHIT.  She looked EXACTLY like she did in middle/high school.  Even the BACK of her hair looked the same!  What a gift to be able to hang out with her again in such a great place!

I could go on and on about all the cool camp activities Brittany had lined up – like bonfires, drunken dodgeball, friendship bracelets, a Jenny Talia concert, and puffy paint – but I really want to express how incredible the PEOPLE were.  My best description?  They were authentically, unapologetically themselves.  And that’s a truly rare thing these days.  I felt instantly comfortable around them.  I didn’t feel the need to interject 30 things about myself into every conversation in the hopes that they would like me.  If anything, I felt like I spent the time absorbing their positive vibes and fun attitudes.  I didn’t worry about my make up or my hair or my muffin top.  (Did you hear me???  I DIDN’T WORRY ABOUT MY HAIR!!).

There was the REAL Jenna – a ridiculously adorable yoga instructor with a contagious smile (and ability to twerk on command), and Kate, the literary agent from New York City – who took a breezy 10 minutes to explain her job while Amy and I drooled and stared on in awe, and Loren, who, despite having three little ones at home, just got her college degree (along with her husband!!) – her dedication and motivation truly inspiring … hell, I’m pretty sure I accidentally sent Guy to school yesterday without breakfast … and I don’t have a damn thing going on.

And so many more …

And of course I got to meet the amazing Brittany Gibbons … who was so sweet and kind and exactly who she is on her blog and so truly brave to put on this AMAZING event.

Sometimes, when you’re in the midst of a true life experience, you don’t always see everything … you are wrapped up in a cozy blanket of moments and living life presently … which is how it should be.  But when you glance back and put all the pieces together, you can be absolutely blow away.

That would be me.